Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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