waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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