So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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