We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
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I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
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i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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