ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
