Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
