don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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