What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Don't make out with my wife yet
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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