I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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