I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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