Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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