so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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