I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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