Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize