I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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