Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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