Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
