i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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