The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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