Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
