if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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