just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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