And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
