Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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