...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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