This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
