she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize