My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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