oh god the rape fog is back!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
