I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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