Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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