No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
