when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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