Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
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A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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