it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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