I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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