I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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