Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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