"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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