He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
