remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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