I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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