My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
