the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
