First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
