he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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