In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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