My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
