He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
