i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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