Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i out mim tonsoeep
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