How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize