remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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