nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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