i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
