just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
