Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i dont even know how to be here
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
