i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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