i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
