$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
