I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
