I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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