I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
