Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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