I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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