I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
