he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Shame - the story of my life.
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