He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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