Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
